Overlooked and Underplayed

If I had to describe my most frequent feeling the past month or two, it would be overlooked. It isn't an enjoyable emotion.

Last week I got a call from a hs friend I hadn't heard from in months. It was her birthday about two months ago, and I called and left a happy birthday message on her phone. I didn't hear back from her until last week. She actually called me using the phone of another friend of ours, who I hadn't heard from since mid February. Then I had wanted to get together with her, and she said she'd call me back, and I got no call. Anyway, I see who is calling and I think, "Yay. I haven't heard from her in awhile." And when I answer its the first friend and I think, "Wow, I get to hear from both of them". After we have the chit-chat and the reason for the call (she bought a house down the street from my 'rents), she tells me to stop acting like I live in Colorado...I should call more often. So I point out the fact that I did call her, two months before that, and hadn't heard back from her. She didn't have my phone number. I think that's interesting considering my cell number hasn't changed in the four years I've had it. So either she never had my number in her phone or she got a new phone and I didn't make the transfer list (boy does that make me feel special). But basically, its my fault that we never spend time together. That hurts my feelings. They are both so busy living their lives that they can't return a phone call, but I'm the one not making the effort.

Then on Sunday I went to a bridal shower of a girl I used to babysit. My mom and I were invited together, so I never took a good look at the invitation. I get to my parents' house an hour or so before, finally look at the address and think, "I know someone who lives on that street, but I can't place it". We get in the car and head to the shower, and as we get closer, I realize that its the street that a guy friend from high school lived on. We ran cross country and track together and both played soccer all the same years. My freshman and sophomore years in college we kept in really good touch-he was a lifesaver the summer after freshman year when I had mono, was living on campus and had no car. I believe it was during our junior year that he met his girl, and shortly after they started dating I stopped hearing from him. I would call every once in awhile, but I didn't see him anymore. I stopped trying to call after I found out he was engaged to be married and not only had a not heard about the engagement, but I hadn't been invited to the wedding. Back to the bridal shower...it turns out that his mom was hosting it, and not only did I see him but I saw his parents (I used to hang out at his house in hs) and his brother and his wife (I'd met her once for about 20min when they first started dating). It was awkward. I mean, here is this friend who used to go out of his way to drive to campus to bring me a movie or take me out putt-putting or for ice cream just to keep me from going insane, and the last two or three years of our life have no connection. It hurts.

Then there are friends and roommates who are so absorbed in their significant others that they don't remember a monthly tradition or can't be bothered to answer a voicemail unless she has news about herself to share. There are also the people who have time to say they want to see you but can't seem to find a day to do just that.

I know that I'm busy and you're busy and we don't always make the time for each other, but if something is important, don't let it slip away. Friendships grow and change and are revived and outlive their purpose and meaning, but it shouldn't be due to an oversight.

"There's gotta be something more
Gotta be more than this
I need a little less hard time
I need a little more bliss
I'm gonna take my chances
Taking a chance I might
Find what I'm looking for
There's gotta be something more"
-Sugarland