This is an email I received from my father today. It may explain why my sense of humor is so twisted, and really, why I am such a twisted individual in general.
"Ok, So Halloween has been a favorite holiday of mine since I can remember. I've done some kind of scare or haunted house for over 20 years. It gives me great pleasure to scare kids. Call me twisted but I can't help it. We had a ton of trick or treaters out last night. I like that. In spite of the fact that we had no scare set up, I still made one kid cry. It was towards the end of the night and this chick walks up looking like she'd just crawled off of a bar stool. She's 250 - 300 pounds wearing sweat pants and a flannel shirt. She's smoking a cigarette and has one eye squinting like the smoke is burning her eyes. Her daughter is very overweight. The daughter was around 10 years old. I put a tootsie pop in her little pupmkin bucket and she dropped her arms to her side and said, "Don't you have any chocolate bars?". I look at the mom waiting for her to tell the kid how rude she's being but the mom says nothing. In fact the mom is looking at me as to say, " Well don't you?". I was so pissed off I leaned down and got my face right close to the little girl and said, "Yes, but I'm saving them for the skinny children". She broke into tears. The mother growled, "Come on". They walked away with the little girl crying and mom giving me the eye. If I would've thought about it soon enough, I would've reached in the bucket and taken the candy back and kicked her in her fat little ass. Other than that we had allot of kids and it was fun."
All I can say is good thing I was not an overweight child, or I would probably be twisted and scarred.
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