"I'm Not Ready to Make Nice"

This blog is sometimes my salvation.

I'm not the kind of person who has to talk about everything that makes me mad/upset. Sometimes just posting to this blog or sitting and telling my mom I'm upset is enough to make me feel better. I think at times everyone should be allowed to be upset or offended for a bit. And if you can find a healthy way to vent those feelings (ice cream, angry girl music, posting to your blog) and are able to get past them that way, then go for it. If something really bothers me and needs to be dealt with, I deal with it. But most times, I post to this blog and within a day or two those feelings of hurt or anger are barely a memory. And many times I have my ending thought or tagline-its for either summing up my point or giving myself a message. I'm not running around trying to tell everyone else how to be better people.

So, proceed with caution.

If I hurt your feelings with what I've said, I can guarantee it was not my intention. But I refuse to make my blogs "edited for content". Its my heart, its my brain, and these are my feelings and thoughts, and I can proceed with them in any manner I choose. I refuse to tiptoe around in my outpourings. If that bothers you, you don't have to read it. As I said in my very first post to this blog, its for me. I really don't care if anyone else reads it.

The days where I made sure no one was ever offended and smoothed over every problem, whether I owned it or not, are over. There are a lot of things for which I have time and can make time. Making everyone else happy is not one of them. Making sure I don't go crazy is. This isn't a sign of hubris, pretension or self-centeredness, merely honesty and sanity. I can't fix everything, and I can't be the only presenter of compromise or of the olive branch.

I appreciate the people in my life who do reach out, who tell me they are sorry for hurting me when they know they have, or who tell me when I've offended them. I can't apologize for hurting someone if I don't know I've hurt them. And its hard to forgive someone who isn't sorry for their actions.

Enter at your own risk.