Last night I watched the movie "The Life of David Gale". Good movie. If you haven't seen it, I'd suggest doing so.
There was one scene when actress Laura Linney, playing a terminally ill leukemia patient says,
"You work so hard not to be seen as a sex object. Before long, you're not seen at all".
Talk about striking to the core. That's been my issue for so long. I wanted to be respected-treated as an equal. Now I'm just one of the masses. I've forgotten what it means to flirt. I've forgotten how to notice when a guy likes me. How am I supposed to achieve a relationship when I don't know how to pursue one or how to recognize someone else pursuing one with me? And how do you get that back?
I guess I'm just realizing this because its been a long time since I really dated someone. Every guy over the past 2 1/2 years with whom I've thought something real was going to happen has disappeared. And most times I realize that I've been lead on, and there is really some other girl they care about-I was just there. That's a nasty feeling. Who wants to go through life feeling like a backup or a second choice. I know the rules that guys live by. I know that many of them think its better to go with your second choice for the moment than go alone.
Maybe I'd rather not be seen at all if that is my only choice...
you never know what one exactly means. but i did not mean to lead you on or anything. i guess i thought we both had similar intentions, i think thats when relationships are best, when both people are putting in the same amount of chips, but its hard to know. so this is just meant to say, or communicate, not to infur, i can not think of a good word, was going to say unfuriate, but realized i'm not sure if i can spell it. sorry for anything bad that comes from me, but not sorry for the good times,moments,things. you'll be ok kiddo, things can be tough, but you'll be ok, smile
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