Big Brother my A$$

Today, my brother made me VERY angry.

So, the 4th of July is sneaking up on us. Its on a Tuesday, so that makes the whole holiday celebration thing a little more tricky, but, whatever. Back at home the fireworks are actually on the 4th, so I make plans with my mom that we'll have family time on Tuesday. Well, I talk to her this morning and she says that my brother is going to be at home on Sunday...can I come home Sunday? Well, she knows that Sundays are not really good for me because of soccer, and especially this Sunday because my game is at 2:30...that means from 1:30 until 4:30 I'm busy. So if we are going to get together on Sunday, I have to dash around and come home all stinky after my game to make it work. I ask her why he can't come home on Tuesday. She says he wouldn't give her a straight answer, just said he'd be home on Sunday.

So I decide to call my brother. He doesn't answer the phone. I don't try leaving a voicemail because he doesn't check it. Then I call his cell phone. No answer. So I email him, explain my Sunday situation and ask why he can't get together on Tuesday. His response is, "I'm going home Sunday. You can go whenever you want to. I thought we were just going to grill some burgers, so it doesn't have to be a big production." I email him back and inform him that he didn't answer my question. He responds again, "I am going home on Sunday. You can go whenever you want." I then respond saying that I apologize if he thinks I'm being nosy, but I thought this was going to be family time and I'm just curious why I'm going to have to rush around on Sunday to make family time work. I also inform him that he's being a bit of a jerk about the whole thing. He emails me back and says, "I am not arranging my life around your soccer games. I am going home on Sunday. You can go whenever you want."

Fuck it. I'm going home Tuesday. Right now, I don't care when I get to see him. You know, you would think knowing that in 6 months I'm going to be moving away, he might actually try to be nice and spend time with the little sister who has worked hard to maintain a relationship through years of jerkishness on his part. I'm done. Maybe he'll be sorry when I'm not there for him anymore, and maybe he won't be. I don't give a flying fig.

I called my mom to tell her about this and that I wouldn't be coming home on Sunday. I know that she's upset about it, but so am I. And maybe if she's upset, she'll tell him that he's being a jerk when she sees him on Sunday. Besides, I'll get to see her and my dad on Tuesday, so that's the important part.

I just want a hug from my bf right now...

Grrrrrroni

Apparently I've spent 6 years in higher education to become a personal dog sitter.

Okay, enough complaining, because besides that, I've been having an amazing time since Thursday. Flew out to San Fran, visited with my uncle, had some business meetings, did a lot of the tourist-y things, flew home on Monday, saw my guy on Tuesday. Whew. Talk about action packed. Took tons of awesome pictures. Of San Fran, not my guy ;). If you wanna see them, make sure to let me know. Sometimes I think that if I didn't mind being poor and hadn't already dedicated 6 years to engineering, I'd like to be a professional photographer. Instead I think I'll just do it for fun on the side. You know, like a mistress.

The guys at work were giving me a hard time today. This is the first time they've seen me get all smiley about a guy, and they're having a good time with it. One of my co-workers started talking about how if things are getting serious, by about November we'll have to have a serious conversation and either call it quits or I may be wearing a ring. I was eating my lunch at the time and almost choked on it. Thank goodness for the new woman who sits in my mini cube farm/office space. She piped in and said "Or you could just keep dating. My husband and I dated for nine months before I started grad school and we didn't get engaged until a year and a half after I finished, after we'd lived in the same town and were sure we still wanted to marry each other." Wow! You're my hero Kathy. Way to pipe in for me. Another level-headed female who plays soccer in the room with me. At least that gives me some hope for the next 7-8 weeks.

A Few Dozen Then a Couple More

Carolyn Dawn Johnson: I Don't Want You To Go

Monday mornin' is such a rush
Here it is again sneakin' up on us
Uh-huh-huh yeah
This is the part you know I don't like
We say goodbye and then we kiss goodnight
Uh-huh-huh yeah
I know it's one o'clock
And we said you'd be gone by ten
So much for those eight hours
I swore that I'd get in

I know I should get some sleep
I'm at the beginnin' of another long week
But I don't want you to go
No I don't want you to go
I guess another minute wouldn't do no harm
Why not spend it in each other's arms
Cause I don't want you to go
No I don't want you to go

We always say just one more kiss
But it always seems to never end like this
Uh-huh-huh yeah
A few dozen then a couple more
Before we know it it's after four
Uh-huh-huh yeah
I know tomorrow my best friend will be my coffee cup
Cause here we go again
Watchin' the sun come up

Yeah, I know I should get some sleep
I'm at the beginnin' of another long week
But I don't want you to go
No I don't want you to go
I guess another minute wouldn't do no harm
Why not spend it in each other's arms
Cause I don't want you to go
No baby, I don't want you to go

This would be the song that is currently stuck in my head...

Long Time No Type

I think my favorite thing about having a journal is that when you need it, you have it. It doesn't have to be written in every day or week, but it can be whenever you feel the desire to put it all down. Its funny, for the first time in a long time I really haven't had much to gripe about. When I feel good, I guess I'm less likely to sit down and "sort out my feelings" in a blog. Today, I feel like writing, but only because I feel I've neglected my journal.

I really don't have any complaints in life. I'm still nervous about grad school-I've decided I'm not ready to start in the fall and am going to wait for January, which means I'm going to apply to more schools and have to wait even longer to know where I'm going. But I'm happy that I'm not going to feel rushed to finish my masters...I know that kind of stress would have taken its toll on me. Now I still have to push, but at a tolerable pace. I'll have to move in with my parents for four months, but saving a little cash will make me feel better when I move.

Since my pledge to clean up my drinking act, I've only had drinks on two occasions-a beer and a half over two hours one afternoon and two homemade sangrias over four hours one evening. Its nice to remember one's whole evening.

Memorial day weekend I went on a date with a guy I've liked for awhile now. Turns out he liked me, too. We also hung out this past weekend- washed the Hoss (my car) then talked for 6 or 7 hours, and we watched movies with some of his buddies the next night. Its all been very comfortable and very exciting all at the same time. I can look him right in the eyes when he's talking to me (which, most of you know I'm not very good in the eye contact dept.), but I still manage to stumble over my words when I try to tell him how much I enjoy his company. There is definitely a palpable spark between us. The ironic part about it all is that less than a month ago I was telling a friend I didn't really want to date anyone, because I didn't want it to be hard to leave for school. My attitude has changed. I think its because I know this guy and I could be pretty good together. We've already covered all the "no-no" topics that they say you're not supposed to talk about in the first few dates: religion, politics, etc., but they've actually gone really well. Plus we play soccer together, and that I really like. Most of the guys I've dated don't like soccer. And he's got the second cutest cat I've ever seen (everyone knows my kitty is the cutest), and being a cat owner I like that he likes cats. Plus Amy's copy of the Cosmo Bedside Astrologer says we should make a pretty hot couple. Woo hoo.

I guess its always when you don't expect it...